mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
