The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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