why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
