My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
