okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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