You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Someone came in the potted fern
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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