If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
