I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
