Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
