u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
