no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
