GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
