Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Everyone says I win the strip club
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
