Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
