I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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