I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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