never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
