dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
