Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
