Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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