last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
