dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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