So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
