I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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