I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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