I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
