drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
