i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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