so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
