I hate your face
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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