this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
