the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
