okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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