You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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