Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
