The maid of honor just puked.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
