I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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