I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
