your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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