Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
