I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
