Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
