hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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