ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Come share oat with me in your robe
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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