we have officially lost it.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
