I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
