whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
