that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
