It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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