Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
