Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she pinky promised me she was 18
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
