your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
