I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
