My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
